All this nonsense from complete strangers! Ok, the security guard in my building was the one who told me I had a fat face.
Today I happened to run across this list of Top 10 comebacks. Enjoy!
1. You look like you're about to explode! Really? I had no idea. I was feeling quite svelte today. Thanks for the earth shattering observation.
2. Can I touch your belly? Sure! It's totally acceptable to grope a stranger's body. Why not feel me up, too, while you're at it?
3. You can't possibly have X months left! Wow! You know so much about this! I should just quit going to my OB and come straight to you!
4. Are you sure you don't have twins in there? Yes, I'm pretty sure I would be aware if I were carrying two babies. But, thanks for checking.
5. Are you going to breastfeed? And ... this impacts you how?? Did you want to taste the milk?
6. You are absolutely having a boy/girl. Really? You want to see the ultrasound? Take your old wives tales and shove 'em.
7. Should you be eating/drinking that? Should you be allowed to speak?
8. Are you happy? Well, no. I'm terrified out of my mind. But do you really want to know that? What a stupid question.
9. Did you plan this? Do I look like I planned this? And, mind your own damn business.
10. Wow! You're going to have your hands full! I'm going to jump off a bridge now. Thanks.
